Want to know the future? You don’t need crystal ball or a time machine. Just examine your moles or your fingernails or your cats. Really.
Ailuromancy or Felidomancy
Simply observe the way your cat moves or jumps to determine the future – especially weather. A black cat crossing your path being a bad omen is an old piece of ailuromancy. Did your cat lick her ears three times? Company must be on the way. Right ear? It’s a gentleman caller. Left ear? Expect a lady.
This is just what is sounds like – divination via the derriere. But take this one with a grain of salt – the only major backer of this method is Jackie Stallone, Sly’s mom and, by most accounts, a rather questionable “psychic.” Jackie says Rumpology works a lot like palm reading: the cracks, crevices, birth marks and dimples can reveal a lot about a person. According to one rumpologist, an apple-shaped butt “indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life.”
I bet if you think about the root word you can figure this one out. Yep… it’s fortune-telling based on your urine. Sure, your urine can definitely tell you a few things about your health – how well hydrated you are, for example. But uromancy is the interpretation of the bubbles in urine to reveal future events. If the bubbles are big and spaced far apart, expect good things. If they are small and close together, something terrible (death of a loved one or a serious illness) may be just around the corner.
Good news for gardeners – you can use your onions to see if you should prepare for bad news. One method is going to require that you build an altar, though: in the past, people separated from their loved ones could write their names on onions (one name per veggie) and then lay them on the altar to sprout. The faster the onion sprouted, the better health and happiness the person whose name was on the onion was experiencing. Woe to the person whose onion didn’t sprout. You can also use cromniomancy to answer yes or no inquiries: plant two onions, one with each answer on it. The one that sprouts first is the answer to your question.
This sounds like a cheap pick up line to be used at a bar, but Sternomancy is actually future-prediction by looking at someone’s chest. Back in yesteryear, the study was limited to markings and bumps on the chest, kind of similar to phrenology (the study of head shape and bumps to determine personality). But these days, men’s and women’s magazines have taken it upon themselves to twist sternomancy into personality prediction based on the size and shape of a woman’s breasts. Sternomancy doesn’t just apply to humans – the old tradition of breaking the wishbone at Thanksgiving is an old form of the practice.
Believe it or not, your fingernails are very powerful. Fingernail clippings were once used in spells, healing rituals and superstitions. In fact, many of the superstitions are still floating around out there – Japanese girls are told that biting their fingernails will result in a difficult childbirth later on down the line. The white spots on your fingernails are supposed to be a sign of good fortune – a spot on thumb specifically means that a gift is about to be bestowed upon you. Greedy people are said to have crooked fingernails, and the half-moon shape (“lunula”) at the base of the nail indicates your lifeline – the bigger the lunula, the longer your life will last. Ever bend your nail back? Bad news: not only did it probably make you use a few choice words, it also means there’s a difficult time ahead of you and it could last for a couple of months.
Making an omelet? Give this a try first: separate the egg white, then drop into boiling water and see what shape the whites take. It’s kind of like reading tea leaves. Before you dismiss the idea, consider this: one of the girls involved in the Salem Witch Trial was playing this seemingly harmless game with her friends when she saw her egg whites take the shape of a coffin. Not long after, 24 deaths rocked the community.
And you thought those little bumps were just birthmarks. Nope, according to some, moles can indicate exactly what the future holds for you if you know how to read them just right. Actually, it doesn’t take too much imagination to figure out moleosophy – most of it is fairly straightforward. Mole on or near your bellybutton? You want kids. Mole on your butt? You’re lazy and not very ambitious. A mark on your back means you’re rather unreliable. Some aren’t quite as obvious, however – moles on the ears are considered lucky, a mole on the elbow indicates a love of travel and adventure, and a mole on your fingers means you’re dishonest.
I briefly thought this was something along the lines of reading tea leaves, but having something to do with margaritas. And I was totally prepared to go out and test the theory, purely in the name of research. But “margarita” is actually Latin for “pearl,” so Margaritomancy is actually the study of pearls to predict the future. Darn. Many years ago, a pearl would be thrown into a pot sitting in a fire and its reaction to the heat would determine a person’s guilt or innocence. If the pearl just sat there, the person was innocent. Any movement indicated guilt.
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